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이미 아는 분들 많은 사이트입니다. 어플로도 나와 있고요.
영어 리스닝하다가 내용을 자세히 알고 싶은데 스크립트가 없는 경우가 종종 발생합니다.
유투브 영상이라면 자동자막생성 기능이 있기 때문에 이 기능을 활용하면 되지만, 유투브 영상 중에도 자동자막생성이 안 되는 영상이 있고 또 영어 팟캐스트 중에도 스크립트 제공이 안 될 때가 많죠.
저 사이트에서 무료로 세 건은 스크립트를 추출할 수 있습니다.
결과물을 보니 감탄이 절로 나옵니다. 필요한 경우에는 유료로 사용해도 좋겠다 싶을 만큼 고퀄이네요.
https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcasts/other-peoples-problems/
이 팟캐스트 에피소드를 추출한 결과를 옮겨 옵니다.(스크롤압박 주의)
0:00
Hey listeners. If you like our show, you might want to listen to the forever 35 podcast. hosts Kate Spencer and Dorie Schaeffer discuss the self care practices you love to text your friends about. But you'll also hear amazing stories about growth, self acceptance, and learning when to let go. Dorie and Kate are joined by guests like author Samantha Irby, Chef sameen nostra, and even former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright. You can listen to forever 35 wherever you get your podcasts.
0:32
This is a CBC podcast.
0:34
Like I just feel like the way she manages makes me feel like she doesn't respect me. I'm not good at what I do. The way she makes me feel. It's like she's like policing me all the time. And I like that. What's the way she makes you feel? Can you tell me just a little bit more about what you're sensing even now as you talk about like a lack of trust. Tell me about you.
1:00
That's a that's an evaluate. That's a story. Yeah, right that has an impact for you that she doesn't trust you. What's it actually like on the inside?
1:15
I'm Hilary McBride. And this is other people's problems, a show where we take you inside real life therapy sessions between me and my clients. You're listening to a session between me and one of my longtime clients we're calling Lacey. Lacey came to see me because of a history of an eating disorder, perfectionism and childhood neglect. And some of our goals in our work together were to let go of that perfectionism, but to live from a place of knowing that she is already enough. So today, she's coming into therapy, talking about how her manager treats her. Work is so important. We spend so many hours of our day at work thinking about work. And when people in positions of authority over us do things that Don't feel so good. It has a huge impact on our quality of life. But what I'm also suspecting is that there's something going on here that's connected to an underlying dynamic. I always want to remember that the client is telling me something I need to know something about what's important to them or something that's happened to them in the past, even when they're not saying it like that.
2:29
I know I'm asking this in lots of different ways, but can you come into your body in this moment? Just notice what's happening in your body right now, as you're talking about that situation over there.
2:41
You're like, I feel this tension right here. Just even talking about it. I'm just like, oh, like,
2:47
Yeah, okay. Can we just be with this? This thing you pointed to kind of your solar plexus here. Mm hmm. It's just like interweaved into like, okay, yeah. Yeah. I love that interview. into I'm picturing it going into your organs
3:02
holy like my organs and my, like, tendons like it's just like
3:07
there. Yeah. Okay. Just out of curiosity, what's it like for us to spend this much time paying attention to that sensation? Or what's happening to it hard for
3:17
me?
3:18
Yeah, tell me what's hard about it for you
3:21
just connecting to. Yeah, like, over our therapy sessions become so aware of my how I struggle to connect with my body. And also how I,
3:33
like shut
3:35
my emotions off. Like sometimes I feel completely out of control of my emotions, and I'll cry at a time where I'm like, No,
3:41
I don't want to cry. Now. I just want to tell you what I think of that example.
3:46
And then sometimes I'll feel it. And I'm just like,
3:51
yeah, maybe we could say it this way. It's It's been a long time. Mm hmm. Maybe decades. Yeah. Since Something came up, and it was allowed to come up, and there was someone there to help you deal with it. Yeah. Yeah. Think about what it's like to be alone as a kid. Oh, I'm noticing. Yeah, that feeling. Can you just can you stay with that for a moment and tell me what's happening?
4:21
I think
4:22
in some ways that's relieving because it's like, it's not just this like,
4:27
random abnormality,
4:29
right? Like, it's like, yeah, it was like a function or an adaptation of like, okay, like, just shut it down because there's not anyone. Yeah.
4:38
When she was really young, before her parents got divorced, there was a lot of conflict in the home. And that's really distressing for a kid. It shapes the way that our brains and nervous systems develop. But then, after the divorce, well, it was great that there was no conflict anymore. She was living with her mom and her mom was never around. In fact, there's often no food in the house, and sometimes her mom would be gone. For days, this is something that we think about as being a kind of major childhood neglect. Because life can feel unbearable when we're a kid and we don't understand what's going on and where our next meal comes from. These things can overwhelm us and we might need to find a way to manage the pain of all of that. In the present while we can see Lacey's life is that she has a really hard time being present feeling, staying with her feelings. And that kind of presence is the kind of anxiety at the same time Lacey found a lot of comfort in the development of an eating disorder. The eating disorder serves a purpose in some way. A lot of times it comes in to give us agency when life around us feels totally out of control, where we feel powerless, and like we're lacking voice. And now as a mom of daughters herself, she's determined not to pass on some of the patterns that in her life were so painful for her
6:03
The day after I was here last time,
6:05
I picked
6:06
up a dance and she was like, why am I so fat? and it broke my heart because I was like, Oh my god, like, how am I? Like so she was in dance and she was like, my body is so fat and why am I fatter than everyone? And it was so overwhelming. Thank god we're in the car. Just drive and be like, ah,
6:30
I have such fear that my patterns,
6:33
I'm bringing that to my children. like a mad that it's part of me. And then I'm
6:39
potentially gonna pass that on.
6:41
Yeah. So previously, there had been this thing in the solar plexus drops down. It's interwoven with organs and tendons. Can you tell me sensation wise what's happening now?
6:58
Yeah,
7:02
Even a deep breath is hard. Like I, I definitely breathe really shallow.
7:08
And I just from my perspective, and just the lighting in you and the transformation, even in our time together that I've seen as short as it's been. I think you better maybe it was our second session where we really hard for you to be in silence and be still. That was like, all sorts of discomfort came up and it felt really like foreign and yeah, you just like relaxing into your body. Yeah. Wow.
7:37
And deep breaths are still hard, but it's like, I'm much more able to just try.
7:43
Mm hmm. Instead of overthinking.
7:46
Mm Hmm, yeah. Okay, we're just gonna sit back to something for a second. Yeah. I just shared with you that I am.
7:53
There it is delighting you.
7:55
Can you just tell me about your experience with hearing you say that this morning. It's so hard. Yeah.
8:04
Like if I were to visualize it, it's like putting up like a and not a wall but like a shield like. Yeah, it's like I need something for it to bounce off. Yeah.
8:19
Because I'm sadness.
8:22
Do you have controller the shield?
8:26
It's such a quick like, it's like there before I even know.
8:30
Yeah.
8:32
Yeah. Okay. Can we try an experiment? Yeah.
8:40
individualize the shield going up. Okay. See it there?
8:46
Yeah, like feel it.
8:48
Yeah. Okay. And can you can you experiment with moving it a little bit with your mind like to the side or a little bit down? Or like maybe you let your your eyes peek over the top. Yeah. Right. Sometimes what we need is an experience of something that we think is scary. Mm hmm. To realize that the story we were telling about it isn't what's actually true. And that can help us in the future kind of change our reaction. Mm hmm. Okay. You ready? I am delighting in you, and the transformation that I've witnessed in you over our time together, and your ability to be present. And in silence. It's pretty remarkable.
9:33
Thank you.
9:34
You're welcome. Yeah. Tell me a little about your inner process.
9:40
Kind of like it's almost like a vomit feeling like it's like right here.
9:43
Wow. Okay. Yeah. Can we go into that? Yeah. Is it is it still there enough that you could interact with it? Okay. And can you close your eyes? Yeah. And just do with that sensation.
9:57
I just want you to ask that sensation. If it has something to say. It's like, You
10:03
don't deserve that. Okay?
10:05
Yeah, so let's just stay with you don't deserve that.
10:09
And stay with that sensation in your throat. And I want you to see if your body will take us back to when you felt that first to something from a long time ago.
10:19
Give me a nod when you have something.
10:22
You might be wondering when you're listening to this audio, what's going on here? And why am I asking her to go back to the earliest memory when we're actually talking about something that's happening in the present? Our nervous systems file memories according to emotion. Often when these memories are painful, it's because something didn't happen back then for us to know we were safe. So in therapy, we can go back to some of those experiences and drop in something corrective, make a change, give a part of ourselves something that we didn't have then something that was missing before, but to figure out where the early psychological injury is. We Need to track the connection between the present moment reaction and what it's linking to from a long time ago?
11:07
Okay, okay. Can you tell me roughly how old you are? Like maybe three? Okay. So with your eyes close to look, can you stay in that memory at three and just tell me a little bit about what's happening where you are.
11:24
It's like I'm sitting at the top of the stairs with my sister.
11:29
And we're supposed to be in bed. And there's lots of like yelling and like fighting downstairs between my parents
11:36
who work together them. Okay.
11:39
What happens in your body as you're remembering that?
11:46
Like, fear, so like tension?
11:49
Yeah. Okay.
11:52
Can you tell me about the memory for?
11:55
Yeah, I broke my leg. Yeah. I'm coming home like in a cast and then
12:04
my parents having a huge fight
12:07
about like not calling or How could this happen like that? Yeah,
12:10
yeah. Okay. And what happens in your body right now remembering that
12:15
tension from like being the problem?
12:19
Okay, there being a reason.
12:21
Okay. Can you hold those memories side by side three and four.
12:27
Just tell me. Tell me what your body tells us. We need to go this morning.
12:35
Almost like there's a ball. Yeah. Like I feel the ball but it's empty. Yeah. Okay. Okay,
12:45
so I'm going to ask you to square yourself and
12:50
when we have experiences that are overwhelming to us, we don't have someone there to help us integrate the experiences or make sense of it or help us know that the experience is over. It's almost like it becomes locked in a place within us. It's like this, we have this preserved pathway within us, that tells us the story that the danger is still happening. And then something happens in our adult lives that's similar enough to the details connected to that original hurt. And all of a sudden, we find ourselves reacting. And those reactions don't necessarily just happen in our thinking and what we're saying, but often show up first in our bodies. And we don't feel necessarily like we're adults in that moment. We're kind of back there, we feel in our bodies, like we're in that really young neural network. So the brain has plasticity, it can change our brains are wired heal, it's actually written into us that we can heal. We just need some of the right ingredients to know that we're here in the present and not stuck back there. And that we're actually safe right now. There's a bunch of different ways to do this. The one that I'm using here is called lifespan integration where we go back and connect parts of ourselves. Like we're building a bridge between the stuck neural network and the new adult neural network. We use a timeline that you'll hear and Lacey's story to do this. What's fascinating about doing this kind of therapy, and I've had this experience receiving this kind of therapy as well, is that people often say things like, I feel my age after doing it, or like, I feel like an adult. Instead of that feeling that so many of us carry around. We're we're kind of faking being an adult, but we really still feel like we're 14 inside. It seems that after doing this therapy, there's a sense of, Wow, I've been through some things, and I can actually take care of myself because I'm an adult now.
14:46
I'm Elena Hudgens. Lyle, and I'm serving the VA, and we're the hosts of inappropriate questions. Did you lose weight? How are you doing? How'd you get pregnant? We talk to people who have been asked these questions we asked where these questions come from, and we learn Some more respectful ways of being curious. So whether you've asked an inappropriate question or been asked an inappropriate question come get inappropriate with us. Inappropriate questions is available now. You can find it on the CBC listen app or wherever you find podcasts.
15:19
Hi, I'm Luke, the host of love me, a CBC original podcast about the messiness of human connection. The show features deeply personal stories, like a mother forced to press charges against her own son, a couple that falls in love through Google Translate, and a man whose father in law asks him to build his coffin. Subscribe to love me at CBC ca slash love me, or wherever you get your podcasts.
15:49
I want you to go back to being three. You're at the top of the stairs with your sister and there's all of that fighting happening downstairs.
15:59
Right Bring your present day stuff into that memory.
16:05
Think off to that three year old and tell her that you're her but all grown up. And what does she need from you in this moment?
16:15
Please, sure. Okay, so give her some reassurance. Just see yourself doing that.
16:25
Yeah, okay, let's go somewhere that feels really safe. Can you tell me where you want to take her somewhere outside of time? Like maybe to a really super peaceful place? field? Yeah. Okay.
16:40
So I want you to see yourself there with her.
16:44
And notice how she's moving in this space.
16:47
She's curled up next to you.
16:51
Or she's running around but yeah, good. Oh, I can see all that emotion. Yeah.
16:59
And he can offer her something that she needs maybe some attention and presence. I see her. Yeah. You mean in a sense where you see she feels See? That's right. That's good. Yeah. I want you to tell her tell her some things she needs to hear. Like, Oh, that must have been so scary to see your parents fighting like that. And just give me a nod when you're done. Yeah. Okay. And then I want you to tell her that you're going to show her the story of how she grows up to be you.
17:38
That's so important for her. She knows she's not stuck there anymore.
17:46
And it's so important for you to get back some of the parts that got lost when everything was so scary and you had to shut things down.
18:02
You can show her these images in a photo book on a TV screen. Doesn't matter as long as you're there and she's there. And I'm gonna read you a memory cue. I want you to share it with her and then just give me a nod when you're tired. Okay? Okay. So with your three year old Can you share with her? Your grandparents farm house, opening the suitcase and grandpa feeding cats
18:31
daycare early drop off.
18:34
What you're about to hear is me walk through something with Lacey called a memory cue timeline.
18:40
That gets remarried.
18:42
Before I start doing this kind of therapy at my patients create a timeline of their lives with at least one memory from every year of their lives
18:50
and period getting your period at summer camp.
18:56
Show her taking the abnormal psych class sitting in the middle of 302nd lecture.
19:02
Ideally the memories are neutral or positive. And in fact when they're neutral they remind the nervous system that everything wasn't always bad that there were these glimmers and moments where she felt connected or there was something that actually just felt safe and
19:16
an average wedding on that beautiful sunny day.
19:24
The miscarriage ultrasound on your own and then
19:29
something from today
19:33
and bring your little girl self, your three year old into your home where you live now.
19:43
Imagine if you were to walk her through the front door, giving her the tour of your home.
19:52
I've lost her.
19:53
You asked her what happened.
19:58
So can you find Find her somewhere.
20:01
Yeah. Okay. Where is she?
20:06
Back in the field? Ah, good. Let's go get her
20:14
and bring her in through your front door.
20:21
And maybe now if you want to take her into your bed, yeah. And just wrap your arms around.
20:35
Here as I'm coaching,
20:37
Lacey to connect with her younger self, I'm seeing this. Well immediately tears come to her eyes but almost like a painful expression on her face. her shoulders slumped down, but I don't necessarily know yet what's going on. My sense is that there's this mix of relief of feeling connected to herself, and some sort of release of old pain of feeling old.
21:05
Can you tell her, this is where she lives now?
21:13
Maybe the two of you get really silent together and you notice there's no yelling.
21:19
So just pull her really close to you again. Tell her.
21:24
Tell her you love her. Tell her she's safe now.
21:27
Tell her you're never going to let her be in an experience like that ever again.
21:36
Yeah,
21:37
this year yourself, gazing at her. offering her all of that delight that I was offering you earlier.
21:48
That's right.
21:52
And when you're ready, you could tell her, we're just gonna take a little break and you'll be back to visit her.
21:58
You can take a big breath
22:01
Nope in your eyes.
22:03
Yeah.
22:07
Yeah, what's happening?
22:09
Um, it's just so overwhelming that relief of feeling seems. Yes. And then the realization when we came to my house up like the chaos in a good way like the dog barking and the like music play like the, and realizing how quiet my home was when like, he was like me and my sister like that was it. So it's just amazing like just the noise and the
22:38
Our house is just alive, alive. So to realize.
22:42
Wow, so that that sounds like contrast all over the place like her being seen. Instead of invisible or feeling safe or afraid. Her being a part of herd of Scotland's living organism of your family.
22:57
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
23:00
I think I just in those moments when I was a kid, I so wanted the quiet and I didn't want parents there and I write but how much I longed for, like a home?
23:11
Course. Yeah.
23:13
Like to realize we had a house that wasn't a home. So when I bring my young stuff into my home, it's like, yes, there's people here and it's like, a house full of love. And yeah.
23:30
I just picture my dog like running to the door when we open the door and like his whole body shaking him like,
23:36
Yeah, but that sense I'm hearing you say of not realizing until now.
23:44
Like, almost like I didn't want to know what I was missing. Okay,
23:49
yeah.
23:50
And I don't think I really knew that that existed.
23:53
And that makes me really sad.
23:55
Yeah.
23:56
No idea that you could feel that love. When I knew what I loved my sister and I knew but to feel loved and like from an adult, I think I only knew. And
24:10
I know rationally that my mom really does and did love me.
24:15
But it was just so chaotic.
24:16
Yeah, she did her very bad. And
24:21
I have such a hard time holding that. Like feeling like I should have empathy for
24:27
what she was experiencing. That's the great fight. Yes,
24:32
yes. Yeah. That it looks like grief on your face. Like your face looks pained in some way. Like there's an acknowledgment of everything that was missing.
24:43
Oh, oh, yeah. Looks like it's so painful.
24:50
When we moved in, yes,
24:52
yeah. But I didn't know that love.
24:59
It helped You understand so, so much I think of just my lack of capacity for things like school and like I struggled in school so hard, and I couldn't think I could really focus because I was like,
25:14
I think I felt really empty. Wow.
25:19
You said something just a few moments ago about not realizing how in some ways how much you were missing. And that just reminds me of where we started with us today. The Shield goes up to keep out the isolation of being with yourself and in yourself.
25:37
As the shield comes down as we go back and do some of this work,
25:43
oh, there's an awareness of what what's been lost in the effort to protect yourself in those ways.
25:52
You know, and just how that
25:55
impacted like how I am in my relationships, and
26:00
I wouldn't choose different in terms of who I'm married to, and like
26:03
I, but to realize like the,
26:07
the wall that I have.
26:17
I know that there are actually more clinical words for it. But for the purpose of working with my patients, I often tell them that this specific experience, a feeling seen and having the wall come down is a relief. It's a word I made up to mix grief and relief. And I think it happens when we get something in the present that we didn't get back then. And our body seems to respond by letting some of our defenses down. We know when those moments we don't have to do it all on our own anymore. But then we can also feel the sadness about how long we had to carry those defenses around and what it cost us. So there's this mix of pain
26:56
and the relief of letting go
27:03
Can you locate the three year old inside of yourself? Could you invite her here?
27:11
Tell me where she is you there.
27:15
Okay. Is it okay if I have a conversation with her? Okay.
27:25
I am so glad you're here.
27:31
I'm so proud of you.
27:34
I want you to know that you are so loved.
27:41
You are so loved you are so good. You are so worth seeing.
27:50
You matter.
27:55
All sorts of things in me want to protect you and help you so you don't feel so scared. And alone,
28:02
because you are so deserving of being left.
28:10
What's happening to her?
28:13
Well, just don't be Gabby would never slip. That's right. Yeah.
28:17
And so what's she doing hearing me say that?
28:22
She's okay with that, too. Okay. Yeah.
28:33
Does that feel like enough for this moment? Or does she want to hear more?
28:37
Now I think
28:51
we all longed to be seen. And we talked about being seen lots, but a lot of times we don't even understand what that means or why it's so important. When we're young, and we're developing neuro psychologically as children, we learn to see ourselves through the gaze of the other to be seen, or sometimes what we call an a therapy, feeling felt, helps us know that we exist. And it helps us develop a working model of who we are in the world. It's through the attunement of another person like a parent. And they're mirroring back to us what they see in us. Like, I can see how sad you are, or Wow, you're so excited. It's through that that we learn to notice, feel and name our inner experiences and actually develop a sense of ourselves. Lacey experienced a profound lack of attunement, growing up and had parents who were not around, she never got the experience of being deeply attuned to. I want her to experience me experiencing her to help all of the parts of her nervous system that developed and those really lonely and over bombing times.
30:02
To know that in this moment she's here with me and she's not alone.
30:21
Other people's problems is produced by Jody Martinson TK Mattoon is our associate producer. Tanya Springer is our senior producer. rF noorani is the executive producer of CBC podcasts.
30:36
For more CBC original podcasts go to CBC ca slash original podcasts.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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