I'd like to share with you about my dream of becoming a clinical psychologist. I want to start by mentioning my reasons for enjoying psychology. Psychology is scientistic effort to understand human behavior and mind process.The reason why I am interested in psychology is because I need to understand my inner problem that happens on interpersonal relationship. And I think, I can find solution for my problems through psychology
To be honest, during four years in collage, my major interest was philosophy and theology. But I'm not good that those two mentioned philosophy and theology because I learned by myself through group study. However I learned various views about the world, and I make value studying those two fields. I think that's a biggest fruit of my college life.
What I want to say is that consequently know about myself is a reason for studying philosophy and theology to understanding world. For what? why I exist, this ontological question is my serious question in most time of my life. But the process to find the answer to the question contributed to objectification of my problem, but It's not a fundamental solution. By this time I found two books that give me the strong insight which were cognitive therapy of depression by Aaron Beck, another is the road less traveled by Scott Peck. Two authors is psychiatrist. So I decide to study clinical psychology in graduate school.Because clinical psychology and psychiatry cover the same field, only difference in that clinical psychologist dosen't have authority to prescribe medication..
To tell the truth, another important reason why I made that decision is that I have working experience in our university counseling center. I have worked in the center from march until now in this year. And I had to participate to some group counseling. Through the experience I realized that many people have their unsolved problem in their innerpart and they were suffering because of their problem. And best of all, watching the counseler helping the client with her unconditional respect and support healing their problem. I was impressed and then I determine to become a clinical psychologist. As a christian, I feel that I am called to heal other people even if now I am living egocentrically. Because Jesus says "love your neighbor as yourself".
Now I am preparing a entrance exam and I need Teps score. But my english skill is bad. So I try hard to obtain the score. This is why I give my thanks to of my class teacher. Because her teaching is very interesting, especially her linguistic knowledge and humor. As you know, which one of you was a great potential. Don't compare yourself. Don’t blame yourself. All people have their own purpose. That's all about me. Thank you for listening.
- 회화 수업 발표 자료다. 아마 구글 번역기도 없었던 시절이었을 텐데, 근로 장학으로 일하고 있던 대학 상담 센터의 선생님들 중에 임상심리 석사 마치고 미국에서 일하다 오신 분이 있어서 도움을 받았었다. 하지만 콩글리쉬라 내가 써놓고도 무슨 말인지 이해 안 되는 부분이 있다. ㅎ
- 학부 때 철학과 신학에 빠졌던 것은 실수였다. 이해도 안 되는 텍스트들을 뭐하러 그렇게 붙잡고 있었는지. 나처럼 추상적 사고 능력이 상대적으로 약한 사람은 추상적인 개념을 구체화시켜서 얘기하는 심리학으로 진작에 갈아탔어야..;
- 2008년 봄에 아론 벡이 쓴 우울증의 인지치료 읽고 받았던 충격은 아직도 생생하다. 거기에 모든 답이 있는 것만 같았다. 지금은 인지치료가 모든 걸 해결하는 만능키라고는 당연히 생각하지 않는다. 특히 정서가 건드려지지 않으면 인지는 변화하지 않는다. 정서가 먼저고 인지는 나중이다. 그래서 인지치료로부터 도식치료 같은 게 파생된 것이고.
- 발표 후에, 교수님께서 진심어린 눈빛으로 훌륭한 심리학자가 될 것 같다고 칭찬해 주셨던 게 잊혀지지 않는다. 이 때의 열정이 지금은 1/10이나 남았으려나. 슬픈 일이다.
- 열정은 식었으나 자신의 문제를 세상에 투사해서 보다가(맑시즘에 경도되었던 시간들) 그렇게 투사하고 있는 자신을 보다가(대학원에서의 시간들) 이제는 자기 및 타인의 한계를 자각하기 시작하는 단계에까지 온 것 같다. 궁극적으로는 좀 더 포괄적인 시선으로 다시 세상을 봐야 할 테지만 거기까지 가려면 또 길고 긴 시간이 필요할 것이다.
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